Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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