she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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