we're chasing vodka with high fives
they need to just BURY HIM!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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