You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
