6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
