one two three fourrrrnication!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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