i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
