he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
