you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
