i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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