So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's Friday. Sex?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
