My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Are we still banned from the library?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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