There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize