Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I want her autograph on my taint
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
