Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize