i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
