Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
