We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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