I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
