My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later