Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?