Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?

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(859): Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/yv1m

Replies (109) Good night (751) Bad night (9223)
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(818): View more from California

Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

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(818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1

Replies (30) Good night (6775) Bad night (782)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"

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(862): you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen" http://tfl.nu/7vz2

Replies (14) Good night (5697) Bad night (685)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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(870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3

Replies (43) Good night (7632) Bad night (1464)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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(614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn

Replies (20) Good night (6965) Bad night (1687)
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(207): View more from Maine

so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.

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(207): so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out. http://tfl.nu/wz4e

Replies (16) Good night (4020) Bad night (1038)
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(419): View more from Ohio

then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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(419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup

Replies (10) Good night (4306) Bad night (792)
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(989): View more from Michigan

we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.

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(989): we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through. http://tfl.nu/1jmj

Replies (9) Good night (3094) Bad night (588)
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(727): View more from Florida

This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.

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(727): This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade. http://tfl.nu/uwxc

Replies (3) Good night (1355) Bad night (786)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

(289): View more from Ontario

You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

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(519): Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia? (289): You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname. http://tfl.nu/fwap

Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (2574)
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(425): View more from Washington

I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.

(1-425): View more from Washington

I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.

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(425): I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help. (1-425): I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity. http://tfl.nu/3ise

Replies (4) Good night (1495) Bad night (595)
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(740): View more from Ohio

The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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(740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm

Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (250)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference

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(612): I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference http://tfl.nu/y7l1

Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (166)
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(214): View more from Texas

Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

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(214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl

Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (307)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.

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(403): painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both. http://tfl.nu/p28a

Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (232)

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