So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
