ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
