i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
