There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
