there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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