Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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