He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
