you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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