Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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