I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
