4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hate all girls vehemently.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
