I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
