the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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