And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
