i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
