i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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