I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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