Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
