I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
there is glitter all over my balls
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
