I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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