someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
