mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
