I heard we made out
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
