i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
