everyone is single if you try hard enough
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
