I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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