you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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