Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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