Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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