This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
