we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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