she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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