As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
