Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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