Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
