please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
