He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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