do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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