i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
