My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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