U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize