I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
